Last week, Jason Leivian very kindly posted a 9 page preview of my new comic PAWS on the ARTHUR BLOG.
That's the main thing I'm working on right now. Besides shaking one fist at the new Super Mario Bros game and the other at my window. It's a fist shake intended for the now ever-falling snow, but it's being misinterpreted by a lot of birds in my neighborhood who are waiting outside my door to either shank me, or question my misdirected anger issues. Oh, birds and your tiny brains. Learn human culture or get out of my country.
In other news I've been really into yogurt the past few weeks. It's really good. You know the kind with fruit on the bottom? Delightful.
In more other news you should listen to this podcast:
Too Many Mikes
It's hilarious and the first episode teaches you a lot about British culture, Native American culture, San Franciscan (San French?) culture and the true meaning of Xmas.
I was going to link to a few other things, but an apathy sprite jumped out from under my desk and threw its magic glitter in my face. I normally swat those things away 'Spiderwick-style' but I though it was Lady Gaga come to serenade me to sleep with her sweet, middle of the road pop tunes again.
I can't wait for the winter to be over so that my sense of humor comes back. From Iraq.
In the meantime: here's me doing a poor cover of an old Kristofferson song.
(I'm posting this around, so sorry if you've read it before. I'd be slightly more sorry if you just couldn't stop yourself from reading it though. What I'm saying is I'm especially sorry to people with OCD and those guys that leave comments on blog posts that say that this isn't what they want to read, and if you're going to write about movies on a comics blog, they'll still read it but they will be so so angry, at least until they calm themselves down by organizing the pencils on their desk by date purchased and possible religious affiliation again.)
Happy new year (Like with most things I do, I celebrate holidays about 2 weeks after they end in order to gauge public reaction, and cater my enthusiasm accordingly. Also, Xmas stuff is so much cheaper in the middle of January).
2010: One Tear At a Time
Sometimes I go outside. Even more infrequently, I'm outdoors and I run into someone I know. They ask me what I've been up to, and I pull a switchblade out of my leather fanny pack, snap my fingers and say 'Don't you read my blogs?' They say no, the switchblade turns out to be one of those switchblade combs, and I comb my hair while jogging back home in reverse attempting to erase the last few minutes of my life. It's embarrassing and never works, so I'm going to attempt to avoid it in the future.
Places I am on the Internet:
I FEEL AWESOME
My website. It gets updated sort of infrequently as I have a really old version of Dreamweaver on my computer, and apparently in earlier versions of the program, a lot of the keyboard shortcuts only worked if you pressed SHIFT and screamed 'cocksucker' while crying for an hour. It does have most of my music, and my comics PINK TOMBS and SLASHR on it.
My blog. Mostly using it to post finished illustrations right now. I used to update it a lot more, but I've been distracted by tumblr and the non-non-stop cocaine and dog grooming party that is my life recently. Really I'm just mostly drawing comics now, and if I was to write posts about my process every day, it would be 'Been inking Page 8 for about 12 hours, thinking about eating a sandwich, why are we really here and what's it all about, maybe I'll watch ROBOCOP again, I wish I was really friends with ROBOCOP, then he could kill my Dad and it would be legal, but maybe I'd be sad, WHO KNOWS' forever.
I put most of my drawings and photos here. If nothing else, flickr will always be the only website I pay for, and one of the few websites that break 90% of the time I'm on it.
I originally started using this just to post about stuff that I liked every once in a while. I'm now using it as my main blog. Let's say I was Harvey Keitel in TAXI DRIVER, my Tumblr would be Jodie Foster. And it would be less awkward when Aleks caught me saying 'Who's my sweet baby' to my laptop.
Still using this though mostly to read the daily posts on my friends page about how no one uses livejournal anymore. Planning on quitting on my 50th birthday.
I mainly started using facebook so I could see the pics my dog would take of me while I was sleeping and untag the ones where she put makeup and wigs on me. Then I started using it to keep abreast of what people I went to high school with think about reality tv shows, and what aging is like for people living the unexamined life. Then I started using it when I felt I was overly happy, to try to even out and depress my mood. Last week I used it to write stream of conscious status updates immediately after waking up. All I'm saying is I should probably take a social networking class.
Just started using this but I might already be tired of it as I'm now mostly getting questions that are either vague insults or reference the way I answer formspring questions. Both of which are fine, but I'm pretty sure answering questions with 'fuck you' or too many meta references is what got Oscar Wilde thrown in jail.
Whichever one you're into, enjoy it.
Besides my Mom briefly straying from God's path in the mid-80's, being seduced, like many religious people, by Lee Major's stuntwork, and renouncing our faith and joining a FALL GUY cult, my family has always worshiped the elders from the SHAZAM TV show. While I went through that normal teenage period of discovering eastern religion (KUNG FU: THE LEGEND CONTNUES, MAGNUM PI), and questioning the logic of the faith of the people around me (how can a TV show get canceled for my sins? Will the second coming, a Hollywood remake, ever really happen?), I had an intense experience that brought me back to Shazamity. I was painting a huge mural of The Commodores on my living room wall, indulging in my old, bad habits of being naked and squinting, and loving Lionel Richie's hair, and as I finished my artwork, I took a step back and realized I had accidentally painted the elders. I fell to my knees, all doubt being lifted from my soul. The sound of the smooth jazz I used to listen to when I strayed, became a choir of angels. I felt the doubt being torn from my mind by the invisible hand of Jackson Bostwick. 'They don't move their mouths because they don't have to, not because of budgetary constrictions ', I thought. And since then my life has been fulfilling in that way that only telling the same story over and over again, and acting righteous about everything can make it.
I did this drawing for The Portland Mercury a few weeks ago. I don't think I posted it here, but I posted it everywhere else so it is probably old internet news by now. This is the danger you run into when you post on 400 different blogs. I try not to cross post or overlap content too much, but considering the way that I pick which blog I'm going to post on is by using a complicated process involving the I Ching and 30 sided die, and my main blogging topic is 'I made this' (though I like to personally refer to the theme as 'Pete: The Glitter Dream Slowly Concludes'), I might repeat myself every once in a while.
My main reason for not going to sleep 10 minutes ago and posting here was that I wanted to thank everyone that bought a copy of Pink Tombs. Choose Your Own Adventure style gratitude below:
You bought a copy: Thanks, you are awesome. Seriously. I always feel weird asking people for money for stuff I've made (in certain situations) as I am not 'business minded'. I might actually be whatever the opposite of that is. Though I'm not sure if that's 'homeless minded' or 'just human'.
You didn't buy a copy yet, but you might: I have like 3 copies left. If you live in Portland, however, there are a bunch for sale at Floating World Comics. Jason from Floating World, who is an all around rad guy, was the editor of the Pink Tombs, and is rumored to have recently put together a telekinetic, all dog, hip hop group and philosophy club, said a couple of nice things bordering on untrue about it in his column/blog/futurenewspaper thing here. It will most likely be available in a couple of other stores as well. Followed by probably being available in numerous trashcans. I'll let you know.
You didn't/aren't buying a copy: It's cool. We're still friends. Though there might come a time when we're together at some sort of high society, livejournal, dinner party. And we'll notice each other from across the room and over our champagne glasses. And we'll nod, but it will be a little awkward. Possibly because seeing people from the internet is sometimes weird in real life, but also possibly because I've buried some resentment towards you in my subconscious mind or maybe only because you think that could be the case. And perhaps we'll then be seated by our host near each other and the uncomfortable silence while we eat will be deafening. And years later in an old age home, all the two of us will be able to remember of that night isn't the beautiful people or delicious food, or our young, virile bodies, it will just be the creeping feeling of vague awkwardness. I can totally live with that though.
Also I only briefly mentioned that Dean is the dude that put together everything and dealt with the printers and most importantly paid to have it printed. I'm mentioning it again mostly to thank him, but also because, after hours of thinking about it, I'm still unsure of the exact reasons behind his doing this. I lay awake at night waiting for the other shoe to drop. I live unsure of when I will be called upon to repay this debt and exactly what I'll have to do. I live in fear.
I just fell asleep while I was writing that. But quickly here's a new 16 page comic I did for FAKE, which is an anthology stanleylieber is putting together. I'll talk more about it on one of my 4,000 blogs, when I'm not sleeping.
Biggz did a small print run of my comic Pink Tombs. If you would like one it's $8 (postage paid) for 20 full color pages.
EDIT: Now for sale through the comixpress site. Here
I'm so tired right now that I can actually see pieces of the English language dropping out of my head, but in an attempt to put the long-neglected, customer service training of my past to use, I will attempt to answer any possible questions that could arise from this transaction.
- What the fuck are you talking about?
Pink Tombs was a comic I did a few months ago for the Arthur Blog. If you want to read a 20 page preview of the 20 page comic you can there:
part 1 part 2 part 3
- I read it online, why would I want to buy a print version?
While I agree that print is a dying industry, I've tried to include some incentives that weren't possible in the internet version: 1) There are a random number of variant covers. While some companies try to entice you with foil or hologram wrap around covers, my comic is the first to feature the 'Thumbprint Variant'. Every few covers will probably have my soapy thumb print somewhere on it as I obsessively wash my hands 10 times an hour. I am always worried they're sticky and/or covered in germs. I have yet to figure out if this stickiness is physical or mental, but I hear germs are real.
2) Besides the variant, there are actual covers on the print copy. There were no covers online.
3) If you have never bought a comic before, or haven't bought one recently you are missing out on belonging to an exclusive club called 'comic fandom' Have you ever wanted to tell people your opinions on things even if they didn't ask you or aren't even talking about the same topic? Have you ever wanted to laugh at someone's lack of knowledge about Gambit? Have you ever wanted to accuse a guy that just like, draws fucking Spider-Man, of metaphorical rape? Have you ever wanted to complain about how things were better when you were younger, and kids today don't know what they're doing, like you're a 60 year old man, even though you're in your 20s or 30s? Comic fandom is for you. But you can't just read webcomics. Try mentioning that in a comic book store. You will be laughed away. Unless you're a woman, then there might be leering and confused mumbling. Unless it's one of those cool, indie stores, then they'll be like 'yes webcomics', stroke their beards and make sweet love to you (man or woman) and then write nice things about you on their blog.
- I hate you, Pete. Why would I buy your comic?
There's at least a 90% chance I'll die of heat stroke riding my bike to the post office to mail these things. There are also supposedly gangs in my neighborhood. Your order could kill me. And orders don't do jail time.
- I read it and I don't get it?
Neither did my Mom. Though she didn't get it in a very disappointed way. I explained a little about what I was trying to do with the thing here.
- I don't like reading, but I do like clothes and have like $20 burning a hole in my pocket. Help me?
I have a Pink Tombs shirt on my cafepress page here
just want to point out that my yahoo mail account was hacked earlier this week. it's an email address that i haven't really used in recent years, but if we were friends, enemies or friendemies between say 2003-2005ish, there is a chance you received an email from me containing a link to an ad. judging from the 2,000 replies i got about it, i believe it's mostly harmless, though like any other virus it could cause vampirism. not to worry, though, vampires are really in right now.
there's a weird emotional element to having your email account broken into. a feeling that you, yourself have been invaded followed by worrying that everyone on your contact list thinks you're an asshole. these feelings were fleeting however, as i realized that anyone that's known me since 2003 must already know i'm an asshole, and the amount of hate generated by contacts that don't talk to me/i don't talk to anymore just seeing my name in their inbox actually fuels the black magic i use to power my internet connection anyway.
by way of an apology, here's some things i believe could have caused the hacking so that you could attempt to avoid it:
- i was thinking about the 90s.
i was up at like 7am randomly writing a blog post about the effect of 90s' irony on contemporary popular culture because i'm pathetically insane. as i was alive in the 1990s, i was thinking about my youth. this feeling of vague nostalgia may have flowed from my head into my browser causing it to lower its defenses and only block viruses that were created prior to y2k. from now on the furthest my memory will go back is 2007.
- my browser is from 1981.
the laptop that i use is from the 1960s. i'd get a new one but it's hard to find another computer with a vinyl record drive right now. also, i have no money. it crashed a couple of months ago and would only let me install OS X negative 15. so the browser i use is a really old version of firefox (fatherfox). i don't think this blocks everything and am, in fact, surprised it works at all.
- we are all pawns in the game skynet is playing.
if the terminator movies have taught me anything it's that machines use incredibly complicated and generally illogical plans to defeat the human resistance. if they have to hack my yahoo account to lure john connor out of hiding and into a trap that doesn't fully make sense involving a young, cgi arnold schwarzenegger and podcasts and open heart surgery, i can't really do anything about it. some things are just bigger than me.
- sexually transmitted disease.
i think this is pretty self-explanatory. my computer fucks a lot of other computers. this loose behavior possibly stems back to its childhood and the fact that it had a weird relationship with its father. or possibly comes from the backlash against sex education in schools and in the media. either way, we all know it can be dangerous.
- yahoo sucks.
while i don't agree with everything they stand for, there is a certain amount of allure to the cylon culture. besides, who wants to use a computer that isn't networked? this attitude possibly got me in trouble.
i was writing a post about pessimism and how our culture is sort of built around negative attitudes and how being in a bad mood in a lot of ways makes it easier to navigate through society. but then realized i was hungry, ate an oatmeal cookie, and thought 'fuck that. life is totally awesome.'
-i totally skipped thursday both on the internet and on everything else.
-the humidity of the past couple of weeks is finally starting to have an effect on my brain and make me kind of cranky. though only for 5 seconds at a time. i say things like 'i ha-oh no, no i don't.' i think momus recently had a post saying something like humidity was the reason people shot at each other during the vietnam war. i understand.
-there's a teenage kid (or kids) that live on my block. they hang out with other teenage kids. a lot of this 'hanging out' involves driving around my neighborhood yelling things at pedestrians from the car window. i am a pedestrian. our conversations usually consist of them yelling 'fuck you' or 'faggot' or 'nice tattoos' or just 'arghhh' when they are suffering from writer's block, followed by me squinting at them. i'd raise my cane and shake it in offense but i realize this is how teenagers roll and i was probably doing this myself not that long ago (since i became wolverine i'm having trouble remembering my past)
, and besides i kind of agree with their sentiments. yesterday, on my way to put something in the mailbox, as old people do, the kids yelled 'michael jackson is dead!'
i can only think of two reasons for this:
1. they were attempting to yell an insult and haunted with grief could only call out what was really on their minds.
2. the death of mj has led to a full maturation of the children of this generation and due to the 24 hour news cycle they were raised on, from now on teenagers will only be loudly reporting the news.
-i'm voting for dzima as the new king of pop btw.
i currently live on the border of teaneck and ridgefield park, new jersey (now referred to as 'peternia' by at least 1 of the locals). as i recently mentioned elsewhere, teaneck is a sort of tiny, city-esque suburban town while ridgefield park is essentially a weird, suburban village. it reminds me of a desolate, winter shore town with the new jersey turnpike replacing the ocean and the entire year replacing the winter. there's closed factories, and tiny shops with random hours and motorcycles and a store that sells and i believe is run by parrots and apartment buildings that have been transported intact from 1973. the median age is probably 70 and the preferred mode of transportation is one of those walkers with two wheels on the front. i walk around and old men give me dirty looks for wearing tight pants while old women give me dunkin donuts coupons for probably the same reason. obviously, i kind of love it.
the 'village grocery store' that's about a mile from my place in the center of town kind of encapsulates the entire vibe of the surrounding area. the lights are sort of dim, the food is randomly placed around the store, all the customers look like they are on break from filming a driving ms. daisy sequel. there's a slightly creepy, 1950s, middle america thing going on that seems out of place in northern new jersey. it's exactly like how i imagine a david lynch theme park would be. and to make it even more blue velvet the speakers in the store only play novelty hits from the 50s and 60s.
it's weird. my first few times there i had assumed that it was a random satellite radio station. then i changed my thesis to a mix tape. now that i've been there about 100 times without hearing a repeated track and noticing how well one song plays into the next; i can only guess that there is a rockabilly, vampire dj sequestered behind the frozen food section all day with an endless record supply.
and his vampire voodoo might be working on me because after a year and a half, i'm almost starting to enjoy it.
back when i was trying to find a 'sound' for my music (besides sometimes irritating and poorly recorded), i made a playlist. this was a few years ago so i don't remember exactly what was on it but in between the 20 kris kristofferson songs and bootylicious i had the walker brothers' the sun ain't gonna shine anymore.
yesterday when i heard it in david lynch's grocery store i thought 'fuck, i've been trying to rip this off for the past 300 go down, matthew songs and i haven't even succeeded yet.'