a new yet previously mentioned song: one idealistic morning. if there's one thing i appreciate it's a song that when i'm mixing it down only crashes my computer 30-40,000 times. 50,000 is when i start to consider giving up.
i kind of hate the summer. only because i hate sweating. it fucks up my body glitter. i do like that it's light out later though. so when i wake up at 6 pm i have at least two hours of daylight before i rejoin the eternal blackness that is my life.
i also kind of like the summer movie season. i've realized recently that more and more hollywood trailers work on me. when i just hear or read about these big budget films i think they sound terrible, but 1 minute and 30 seconds of clips put to a song from the 90s that i didn't like when it came out but maybe that's because there was no cgi involved then? i suddenly can't wait to see bruce willis/christian bale/hugh jackman fighting/being/crying in front of fake robots.
and i know what you're thinking, fictional best friend that is starting to seem out of touch because you still read livejournal, 'pete, trailers work on a lot of people. that's why they're so popular now.' i know, but i find it weird because they work on me, and while on the outside i'm a calm 30 year old content to sit around and listen to my facial hair grow, underneath i'm still an anti-establishment 12 year old punk. beneath my skull, my brain has a tiny mohawk.
but i've seen/want to see every movie that comes out (to the confusion of my girlfriend). and i pretty much enjoy all of them even though they are almost all really stupid. this might be mostly because they are being marketed to me, or that i've given up on life, but it could also be because i finally learned how to watch them.
after 26 years of reading comics, 95% of which are a guy punching fake robots and still liking them, i started subconsciously using the same uncritical part of my brain to watch movies and tv. i didn't watch much tv in my teens/early 20s. not because i was too cool, just because i couldn't afford one. when i started watching it again, i couldn't believe how bad every single television show in the world was. they're all really fake and forced and hamfisted. a few months later and my life is what seemed fake and forced, 'andromeda' or 'seinfeld' or whatever seemed more real than my own hands.
i was still critical though. i think the real change happened with 'lost'. i like 'lost' a lot, though i don't like admitting it. sometimes it is very, very bad and soap opera-y and corny, yet i found myself while watching it thinking 'whatever, it's free, it's not like i made it, who cares if it gets bad, i am not to blame.' so there's this weird uncritical viewing going on. like returning to the womb, where i just enjoyed any vodka my mom drank no matter how cheap the brand because it was free.
not that i'm fully complacent (yet). if i ever start watching heroes, i'll kill myself.